Today Aneeta I am thankful for distance. I’m currently over 5,000 miles away from someone I love very much, which is effectively on the other side of the planet.
Its almost impossible to communicate with her, text messages are banned by her military dictatorship government, internet is scarce and a massive luxury, telephone lines only make a connection 1 in every 100 calls (I actually spent £50 trying to connect to her and managed about 30 seconds of speaking to her), post coming into her country is opened and inspected and sometimes not actually delivered, its just difficult as you’d imagine. And for all the reasons I hate it and for every minute I sit there wondering how our life would be if she were back in the UK I can’t help but be thankful for the reflection time I get.
Sometimes you never really do comprehend how valuable something or someone is to you until it or they are no longer around. It’s bittersweet because your heart feels broken yet you don’t feel like you’ve felt this much love before. Your heart breaks and grows twice as strong with every fragment that falls away. I’m thankful for my heart feeling stronger, I feel more compassionate, I’m lucky to not have everything I want in life because it gives me a grounded view on what goes on and as a result I truly feel a love and compassion for everything around me.
Some day soon I’d like to get her back though Aneeta, this can’t possibly be a lifetime gig, there are only so many fragments that can break off..
